I got word yesterday that my Grandmother is undergoing surgery to have her large intestine removed.  While medical issues have been ongoing for roughly three months now, no one saw this coming.  To be frank, I really am unsure if anyone has a firm understanding of what the issue is.  What I hear makes me thing this is a “Let’s try this and see what happens” approach that is being taken.

Scary, no?

Having to true understanding of the impact such an operation can have – you know, that whole I’m not a doctor thing kinda gets in the way – it’s quite obvious what she is facing has the potential to be a life threatening, especially when one takes age into account. 

A number of fears occupy my mind, however; I believe she will never be the same woman again regardless of the outcome today.

This wonderful, no, magical event comes from Sheldon, Vermont.  Not exactly what I would think when redneck, but who knew!

So, the couple:

1. Met at a race track
2. Enjoy hunting
3. Had Bridesmaids dressed in camouflage
   
4. Had Groomsmen that smoke and chew

I want to know here they got the antler vases.

Ok, so I understand that life will never be perfect.  Some days will provide a better outlook on life than other.  Some situations will offer you a sense of comfort while others will challenge you to grow emotionally. What I don’t get is why I cannot overcome certain personal inner conflicts at times, no matter how hard I try.

 Since I only know my mind – what it is like to think and perceive for myself – I only have the ability to look at the world around me and ask if others feel the same that I do because no one seems to reflect the conflicts I am experiencing.  Maybe that whole “inner” thing means they hide it well.

 At times I try to discount my emotions, no, I wonder if it is ok for me to be questioning the things I do.  I guess I need to consistently remind myself that it is ok – and healthy – to evaluate  life.  Regardless of what conclusions you come to, that to will be ok.

I’m sure you know plenty of Type A personalities. You know, the ones that seem to have limitless energy and have the ability to accomplish anything their hearts so desire – all without breaking into a sweat AND they manage to do it all before lunch.

How do these people get motivated, how do they keep their edge? I’m luck to roll out of bed at 6:30 and shower let alone have worked out, finished a report and read through today’s issue of the Wall Street Journal. Seriously, I am.

Back in May of this year I had a health issue that interfered with my motivation, my sense of “I can get this done”, and I have not had the ability to retain it since then. Sure, I see glimpses of it now and then, but I seem to be running on empty the last few months.

Motivation is a funny thing because when you have it – nothing can stop you. When you are lacking it seems as if the world is working against you. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be the true type A personality and I may struggle just to get out of bed but I cannot accept “me” without motivation in life.

I was a life long Republican up until about 2 years ago.  All of a sudden the political organization I most associated with seemed very foreign to me.  The days of small government were gone, scientific progress was being blocked in the name of faith, and it appeared, universally, civil rights were disappearing quicker than any time in the past.  As if that wasn’t enough, the other party of choice – the Democratic Party – was equally as uncomfortable to me.  So what am I?

Let me be VERY clear about something, just because I was a Republican didn’t mean I had “blind faith” and simply voted as a Republican on every issue.  I did my best to judge each situation and compared the views of the candidates to my personal beliefs.  More times than not I agreed with the Republican but would break from the party line when I did not agree with the view presented.  The problem is that now, more and more, I simply don’t fit into any category.

So where do I stand? I believe…

• in the right to bear arms
• in climate change but not humanity caused global warming
• society should be investing in alternative energy, not because of climate change, but it’s the right thing to do for the environment
• that the government should not tell two people what love is
• stem cell research is a must
• that people need assistance but we should not simply give the needy everything
• the progressive tax system is a failure and those who deserve a tax break are those who pay the most
• that health care is not a right but a commodity
• we should take care of our own before we take care of others
• that the most qualified individual should obtain the position
• tax breaks for U.S. corporations are needed in order to keep growth in the United States
• a woman should have the ability to pick what happens to her body
• that every immigrant should come to the U.S. legally and not be granted amnesty

Does this make me a moderate or the ever-illusive “independent”?  I understand there will never be a candidate or party that will align to every view I hold but there has to be  a candidate, or partly, that doesn’t make me feel like an outsider.

I’ve said it a number of times in the past, I want to vote from someone I believe in and not simply vote for what I believe to be the lesser of two evils.

I dread morning. For whatever unknown reason it always takes me a good hour to actually “get going”. Literally for the first 60 mins, on most work days, I feel as if I am stuck in some haze. When I really do a bit of self evaluation I find there are only a hand few of things that bother me more than waking up, getting ready for the work day, sitting in traffic and making sure I am in the office.

It’s not that I don’t want to go to work, I really do enjoy the individuals I work with, it’s the fact that I have to roll out of bed at 6:30 and deal with my mind – which seems to be stuck in slow motion.

Weekends are different. I can get up around 11, which will give me around 11 hours of sleep and then simply just ease my way into the day, which seems to work better for my body. Maybe that is part of my problem… This may all be linked to a lack of sleep but 7 ½ hours should be enough, shouldn’t it? Maybe if I got more sleep and woke up earlier I could ease into the work day…

Sigh…

Earlier this year my wife and I decided to consolidate all banking and brokerage functions to one institution. After evaluating a number of options and a load of doing tedious research we decided on eTrade. Our decision was driven by no ATM fees, a superior brokerage trading platform and a high rate of return on the savings account. Thus far, the banking experience has been less than satisfying.

The first annoyance was due to our unlimited ATM refunds disappearing from our account. Even though we meet the requirements of:

“for customers with an average monthly balance of $5,000 or more in either their E*TRADE® Money Market Account or Independent Checking Account or for customers who maintain a combined balance of $50,000 or more in linked E*TRADE Securities, E*TRADE Bank”

After contacting eTrade support, they claimed our account is not eligible for the ATM refund and no further explanation was given regardless of how many times I asked. Since it took a significant amount of effort to move all of our financials we came to conclusion we would eat the fees.

Our next really annoyance was tied to the deposit process. We noticed that our account balance didn’t match our deposits. No problem, we though someone bounced a check and we will simply contact that person to let them know. Well, it turns out eTrade Bank does not notify you, nor do they return the bounced check, when there is an issue with your deposit. If you submit a deposit with multiple checks, with the same value, at one time, there is no way to tell what check bounced! Calling support doesn’t help as it appears they have no ability to few the deposited checks.

At this point we are thinking long and hard about switching banks and then the big one hit – my name changed on the account. I logged into the website to check our balance when I noticed I was no long listed on the account. In my place was some woman neither of us knew or ever heard of.

Pissed, I immediately get on the phone with eTrade support to explain my problem. “Yes, we understand…it must have been an error on our side… I’ll submit a name change request to fix the problem” the support rep says. Within seconds of the phone call, I receive a confirmation for a name change request. Foolishly, I think the problem is solved. After a week of waiting my support request was canceled and I am still trying to resolve the issue.

Etrade, the brokerage, has an incredible trading platform and provides a good level of research for investors. As a bank, however, they leave a lot to be desired. If you are thinking of becoming a banking customer, think long and hard before you do so.

UPDATE: 8-28-08 10:30

An e*trade support rep who has been working on this case since this morning just called me back, they do not yet have a resolution but are working to solve.

UPDATE: 9-09-08

The e*trade rep from 8-28 NEVER called me back and never solved the issue.  I’ve attempted to resolve this three times with NO luck.  Make of this what you wil just be aware before using their services.

UPDATE: 9-25-08

It took over a month but e*Trade corrected the issue.  At this point I have major quesitons about their ability to run their business.