For the last week I had the strong desire to write (and write, and write) about depression and a number of things that I am going through. The posts range from introspection on who I am and where my life is going to the emotion and sensations I have been dealing with over the last few days. Each time I attempt to write, each time I sit down and put thought to paper (or Office) I simply cannot express myself properly.
The writing process starts relativity well. I begin to structure my post based on the main themes I want to touch on, I find the word that accurately describe the sensation I feel that then… it all falls apart. I cannot continue. I find my mind ends up being flooded by every single topic I want to express in regards to depression or anxiety. My structured post, the one I just established a solid framework for only moments earlier, quickly becomes an aimless mess of incomplete thoughts and disjointed views on my experience.
It almost looks like a really bad mental health MadLib.
What I find funny about my lack of ability to write about my current condition is that this is what I feel like in other aspects of my life. I feel as if I have little to no ability to focus… I feel that my thoughts simply overwhelm me… I feel lost, adrift.
I am not sure why this is taking place, and I have no clue as to how long it will last, but I am finding it very frustrating.
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