My last post discussing depression (It’s not about you) really generated a fair amount of feedback which was evenly split between two camps: the “I understand what you mean…” and the “But that is just selfish…” group.
I want to address the second group. Yes, you are right.
A number of feelings a depressed individual holds, a few of which were reflected in the previous post, truly are highly selfish. What people who are not deal with depression, who have no significant point of reference, do not understand is that when a depressed person has a depressive episode they need to go into a “self preservation” mode where they need to focus on only themselves.
This action is taken for their survival, as their entire life is in question. It may not appear that way to the observer but trust me, it is.
Every thought and emotion facing the person who is having an episode is focused on simply managing through what they are experiencing at that moment. Very little to nothing else matters when they enter such a state. I do not mean to be dramatic but things that may seem like common sense to you (like paying the bills, going to work, caring how someone else feels, making sure they have eaten, other people) all have the ability to become a very distant second really quickly for someone who is dealing with depression.
The person is not attempting to be self destructive or cold. They are not attempting to be seen as rude or self-centered by those they love and care for, they simply go into a mode where they need to protect themselves. Unfortunately, that may very well mean block everyone and everything else out until they have the ability to manage once again.
So, yes, it is selfish and there is nothing wrong with that, as it is one of the only ways a person who is having a depressive episode can survive.
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